listening to: Ocatavarium - Dream Theatre
As this is an electronic journal, I can not write in it at anytime. Nor, can I just spew forth everything I've ever thought. that's why I have kept a paper journal. from time to time, I will put up stuff that is from my paper journal. if it is dated (which it often isn't... I just forget) I will date it accordingly. here, is the first of my paper journals.
A gesture, a montion, emotion elementaly the same I suppose. Why am I alone? Have I created a wall which noone can see past? Are the memories so faded that it's not worth breaking me out? Question after question. No answers needed today thanks. I'll wait till they are on sale. No one's buying anyway. It's just a matter of time.
I angerd you in some way. I made you think I was... I don't know. I was holding on to a thread of a rope just to hold on to something. I'm not. I've let go. I'm falling and I love the wind in my face. I can't wait to hit the ground. I can't wait till I can feel the bones in my body snap like frail twigs. Like dried out branches. to feel all that I hate about myself continuing to deepen into the ground. Leaving me only with what I need. Alowing me to stand up and look above and see the path I took and know I will never take it again. then to look down and see the reminants of everytime I've stood here before.
